After about three years of abstaining from the dating world and many ups and downs in my personal life, I decide to take the bull by the horns and get back out there! I was fed up of being on the shelve and wanted to share my life with someone...
I was inspired to write this blog after coming from another disasterous date while sitting on the northern line homeward bound! Thinking something has to change soon or else I'm just going to give up.
So about two weeks ago I was talking to a friend who recently experienced a breakup. I had great admiration for her ability to get herself back into the dating world so soon. It caused me to question why the hell wasn't I?! I couldn't come up with a good reason other than I couldn't be arsed!
So I thought why not.... got myself signed into tinder... started swiping and then went on a date with a psych nurse.... yea sounds odd right?! But hey I'm into psychology...people... and all that stuff so thought eh why not. It was painful! Poor bugger was stuck for conversation looked uncomfortable and like he just wanted to curl up and die in the corner quietly hoping I wouldn't notice hahaha. Needless to say, as soon as I got home I unmatched and never contacted him again. I lined up another date the very next day, oh boy wasn't this one fun! How I managed to keep this guy from jumping my bones in public, I don't know. He appeared to like me very much :) great but I wasn't sure if I liked him and he wasn't giving me the chance to find out, you heard the saying my dance space your dance space?! It was the quickest I drank coffee in my life!
Next, I decided to go speed dating with some friends in a bar in central London...thinking it would attract some relatively alright guys. Oh, boy was I wrong. Now, I'm not looking for perfection as I'm far from perfect but someone who has some 'normal' qualities would be good as it stood one guy out of ten was ok to converse with.
There was Mr. non-Committal. (ask me a question... and I won't answer I look around the room at everyone else while you are trying to have a conversation with me) ....
Mr I don't date dentist, vets, opticians, doctors, etc. and somehow thought your profession defined who you were! And knew what he didn't want but not what he did.
Mr Assumptive (oh because you said you're from Jamaica that means you don't know your roots!!!) What the hell! I mean seriously?!
Oh and let's not forget Mr Film director that is so passionate about filming and that's all he could talk about and don't make any money from it! Geez with options like these is a wonder women in London are single??
Ok, so I went back to the drawing board and thought let's give the online thing a serious go... signed up to Zoosk and getting lots of view and messages... from men who can't seem to speak bloody English! I don't usually mind because I am an equal opportunist, but I can't read your message or understand what it is you are trying to say, dude! Doesn't make a good start now does it!
For the first time, I was catfished! By what I thought was a lovely looking Spanish senor…pffft! Was he heck. His picture looked like he was 25 and when I met him he was like 40! Very nice messages, I did think he was a little odd however I thought to myself let me get this out the way sooner rather than later and decided to meet him for dinner. Well, this is a big learning curve for me, never go on a first date for dinner! Just keep it to casual drinks or coffee something you can get out of easily instead of having to sit opposite someone who you don't like or in my case pissed me right off by turning up 25 mins late! Needless to say, I won't be seeing him again either haha.
Now back to the search will I continue with Zoosk or choose another crappy site to meet more weirdo's….hmm I'm going to have to give that one some thought.
One thing I can honestly say about my experience to date is that I have met all kinds of people from all walks of life interested and liking a variety of things. It has opened my eyes to exactly how diverse a city we live in, in London. Lots of people are looking for love, and there are some fantastic people out there who are just right for each other, I'm just not meeting many men that are right for me. Dating is also making something crystal clear to me, that I am perfectly ok with who I am. Confident and capable of giving and receiving all I deserve in love and life. I never want to compromise who I am to find love and nor should you!
The search will continue, and I will try and remain open minded because you never know when Mr Right will find me and I'm hopeful that he will be in the very near future.
Also, remember to stay safe make sure someone knows where you are and also take precautions when meeting strangers and most of all trust your instincts if it's telling something isn't right chances are it probably isn't!
Peace and Love