So, I’m a thinker. I probably spend more time in my head than anywhere else, which results in wonderful blogs like this. I recently attended a workshop at which I was sitting with a group of nine complete strangers – and I was talking. I mean, really talking! For some of you this may be a doddle, but for me, it’s something I have always found really difficult. I don’t think I’m much of a talker; I have always been a better listener.
Immersing myself in personal development has helped me to achieve many things in the past few years, but speaking in groups and in public forums isn’t one of them! My heart starts racing, my mouth gets dry, and my thoughts go into overdrive. I’m already thinking about what I’m going to say way before I even start talking. I have never been able to talk openly in front of a group, whatever the context. But on this particular occasion, I was able to speak up in front of complete strangers and talk about intimate areas of my life without even stuttering! The best thing about it was that I didn’t even realise I was doing it.
I always beat myself up for not being where I want to be, when, actually, I’m right where I need to be. I am learning to accept myself and I am constantly growing as a person. It may not always happen at the pace I want it to, but I am moving.
I have many wonderful friends, particularly my fabulous friend Nat. She often tells me how much she admires me, and I have never really understood why. She told me she admires my ability to manage in the face of adversity and to still constantly strive to be better and actually achieve what I set myself. She is my voice of reason, and if I’m talking crap she doesn’t have any problem telling me! She also reminds me that sometimes I can be too hard on myself, and that I don’t need to be. In spite of everything, I never give up, I always keep going. We have a Mutual Admiration Society going on, since I admire her for her drive, ambition, no-nonsense approach to life and sheer intellect. She is completely random, great fun and has a heart made of pure gold. Anyway… I digress.
Sometimes, things aren’t the way you expect them to be. We have to step back to be able to see the picture clearly. Reflection is also a wonderful thing; for me, it brings the chance to gain a new perspective and to really see the value of what you have been doing. When we have an opportunity to reflect, we realise just how far we have come. Self-development can be really tough; I would go as far as saying that sometimes it hurts! We are forced to change when we become aware of things we do not like about ourselves. Ignorance is bliss sometimes, huh?! There’s nothing quite like growing pains.
During our journey, our path changes. For example, four years ago I wanted to be a Counsellor. Then, two years ago, I changed my mind and wanted to become a Life Coach instead. I became totally focused, networking, taking courses, practising skills – you name it, I was doing it. Then, as they say, ‘shit hit the fan’. I had a bereavement in my close family, and my mum became ill straight afterwards. Let’s just say that it threw the plan into a bit of chaos.
Since then, I have been trying to get back on track. I tried to bypass the ‘grieving process’ and just get on with things – but that didn’t work at all! I found out that have to go through it, I have to allow myself to grieve and to be sad sometimes, because this is perfectly natural. There is no expiry date on grief, it’s an ongoing process, and it’s only months later that I’m learning to accept that. It has become clear to me that each one of us is always a ‘work in progress’. We are always working on something. A better body, a better job, a better relationship. In my opinion, that is perfectly normal. It’s OK to not know what the dream is just yet. I trust that the answers will come when we are least looking for them.
So, my friends, just remember that sometimes your progress may be slower than you would like, and you may not always get an instant result with the things you are trying to achieve. But this doesn’t mean they are not worth doing; one day you may just wake up, like I did, and realise how far you have come – slow and steady wins the race. The minute we stop being a work in progress, we would probably get bored!
It’s your journey, no one else’s, and we don’t need to compare ourselves to others to realise our value and how much we can actually achieve.
What are you currently working on?
Has your path changed, maybe multiple times?
What challenges have you faced?
Leave me a comment below